Monday, August 27, 2007

Fun Monday - blog blog blog

Lisa has our next Fun Monday exploration! She says: I’d like to know more about you, what makes you tick. I’d like to know how you started blogging. Did you keep a diary under lock and key safely hidden as a child? Do you still? Do you share the same things on your blog that you would have, or do, in your diary? Why did you start blogging and why do you continue? May as well throw in any roadblocks you have run into while blogging. If you still have your old diaries we’d love to see them.

I got a Snoopy diary from Emily in my grade school class when I was 10. It was teal blue and it had a little lock on it. Unfortunately for me, you could also just push on it, even if it was locked and open it. The date of my first period and a secret crush, as well as some not so secret ones, were clearly revealed by a sneaky older brother (why he gave a damn, I'll never know) and a frenemy named Heather in junior high. She got me in more trouble for stuff she did than I'll ever figure out. Bitch. Anyway, I digress. I no longer keep a diary. I kept a small journal for a year before I got married and gave it to my husband in the hopes that he'd read it and understand me some. Yeah, that didn't happen. I would probably have written the same thing in my diary that I do on here.

I started blogging because my friend Kt did. She's still the first blog I check every day. It took about a year and then I got the itch. I keep on blogging because it's cathartic for me and it's good to hear someone say "they get it"-especially when you can't tell anyone else. Things you all consider normal 5-minute freak out my family thinks is too "dramatic". Freaking out it not allowed. Oh and by the way, the blog's a secret. My family doesnt know and it's on purpose. Who wants anyone reading your diary unless you say so, right? One exception: my hubby, and I think he gets some insight into me that he didnt get from that journal he never opened. Thanks, dear. And if you're reading this, you're obviously welcome. :-)

What makes me tick is largely garlic bread and diet (now caffeine free) pepsi. I'm "okay" at most anything crafty I try. I'm not artistic, as much as I'd like to be, but I can keep a kid busy at a slow time like waiting your turn for a church dinner or for a family reunion to start by drawing cartoonish animals and having them copy them. I draw a mean turtle. I like to cook and invented my own spaghetti sauce this year. I guess I am artistic with food. Arranging a salad or fruit on a plate seems to make the world slow down and feel right. I love El Rancherito salsa because it's "hot" but doesnt taste like peppers. Yum! I didnt learn to match colors for clothes until my husband showed me how. Now I dont' have a problem. Some things I was just always really dense at, as smart as I am. And I am. :-) Don't hate me--I couldn't get into Mensa now if I tried. Maybe 10 years ago. But those intellectual types bore me. I'd rather scream at Monday Night Football and cry at sad country songs. I am really scared of driving in a big place, but I'm getting braver. When I was put under for my emergency appendectomy after 1o scary days of not knowing what was wrong with me and on the final day a temp of over 104 degrees, I didnt regret anything in my life, just wished/prayed for more time with my husband and family, and I've lost a lot of worry, concern, and overall freak-outedness that I had as a teenager and younger adult because of it. I'm no longer scared of dying. I think of how it all could have been over, and how afterwards no one could hardly stand to help me change my dressing, so I bucked up and did it myself. I learned to slow down, how to appreciate. How to do for myself and rely on others at the same time. Sometimes I forget. And sometimes, especially when I see the scar, or feel an odd pain, I remember. And I tell myself to calm down. Life goes on, whether you worry or not. Why waste time worrying when there's any number of new ways to learn (fail, mess up, bite the big one) and love out there. I have Christian/republican values with the mindset of a liberal democrat. Why in the F*ck would I tell someone else what to do with their body? Also, please help me pay for child care. Please please put Senator Clinton or Obama in office. Please! Okay. Sorry. My parents are republicans and they "just don't like Hilary" bite me. Since when have old white geezers gotten YOU anywhere? I didn't think so. I see it from an "I won't EVER be able to afford childcare so I'm looking at the next 1o years with no job" outlook. And my goal is to be a career counselor and help college students guide their paths to the future. I'm pissed that I have to "choose." And I wish that the government would make it easier. Like in all the other modern countries that have elected a woman leader. Hmm. Strange how that happens... :-) Alright that's me. I hope you love me!

11 comments:

Beccy said...

Wow, there's a lot of information about you.

Childcare is very expensive here, I would need to earn loads of money to make it worth my while to work. I know people who's earnings cover childcare with none left over.

her indoors said...

my family are not aware of my blog either, mind you they no longer are aware i exsist and thats be choice too!

Hootin'Anni said...

That is great that you and Kt still remain bloggers! If not, I would have never 'met' you through the meme.

My reasons for blogging is up for FUN MONDAY.

lisa's chaos said...

Maybe your husband will dig out that old journal now and read it. I love that my husband reads my blog and he sometimes tells me that I'm funnier than he knew. :) Maybe he's laughing at me, not with?

wolfbaby said...

my hubs dosn't read my blog.. he just says yes dear. LOL

thats probably the most honest anser you can give.. or get...

i work from home part time now.. when the kids go to school it will help now my hubs and i work odd shifts.. im going to school from home online learning so that i can later work from home with a degree and earn more money wooowhoooo

childcare is sooo expensive

Karmyn R said...

Wow - What beccy said!

I guess that is why I blog too - it makes me sane.

Steffi said...

Yes,I agree with Beccy too.Great post!

ChrisB said...

the first thing I thought as I read this post was wow I now know a lot more about you - I then come to comment and my daughter has pipped me yet again being the first one to comment on similar lines to my thoughts. Because my blog was started for family I am careful what I say- well mostly!

Willowtree said...

It's nice to write something and have someone say the get it.

Heather J said...

I just found out today my mom AND my sister read my blog. I had no clue. I guess I mentioned it on myspace. Oops. Glad I didn't say anything mean!

And Amen Sistah! Screw working to pay for childcare. And I am tired of this politcal ring around the rosie crap, it's the same thing every time. We need change! Out with the mold, er..I mean old. In with a fresh new view!

And yes, I totally own up to the fact I am a dork :D

mjd said...

Maybe you blog because you have a lot to say. I enjoyed reading your entry, and I will do my best to get Senator Obama elected. Hilary is my second choice. Interesting combination "Christian/republican values with the mindset of a liberal democrat." I like to think that I have liberal Christian democratic values with the same mindset.