Saturday, January 5, 2008

Sample googles from me for a day... and my current struggle

Yesterday, I looked up Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain on Utube, and googled Donna Morgan dresses. I saw this cool one in an Oprah magazine, and thought I'd look and see if they were sold anywhere in our area. It turns out, that the dresses are sold in various department stores such as Macy's, Dillard's and Nordstrom. But I couldn't find the one in the magazine online anywhere.

Why am I looking up dresses? I have to go to a 'formal' party for my husband's company -- their holiday party, January 18th. Friday night, so he'll come home and we'll have to scurry out to get there for socializing or what have you. Then dinner and some sort of entertainment. Me.. I'm great with people I know. With people I don't know, I'm awkward. In particular, I always feel stupid. I'm very smart, but I don't have a job right now and even if I did, it would be one I would be ashamed of. Sorry for ending that sentence in a preposition. Everyone always asks me what I do. It doesnt seem like they ask anyone else. Other people.. they won't let it go, if I say, oh I worked for X company for a while, they'll want to know WHAT SPECIFICALLY I did. I dont know why, when other people are around, I always feel very... pathetic. I have a college degree and despite my attempts, I've been thwarted every step of the way. In general, I put my husband's education and career in front of my own, and I shouldn't have done that. Because as it turns out, he would have followed me instead of the other way around, but I didnt know that then. And now, since I'm married, the doors have been all shut to me. Because of the type of program I want to get into. It's like if you're single you're fine but they feel like married people are less committed. So they count you out. Granted, our life together is great. I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. He's thrilled with his job and it's a real income-booster, so it's fine. It still makes me absolutely dread going to these types of parties...

So I'm hoping to find a kick ass outfit and pretend to be kind of vapid, in hopes that I'll be admired from afar, but ignored and not spoken to... I'd rather that than having to say what's really going on in my working life... Pathetic, isn't it?

5 comments:

Regina said...

oohh - those kinds of parties are the worst - I like your strategy!

And Pinky and the Brain are the BEST! One year for Christmas DH and I got custom made (by me) Animaniacs t-shirts because they were not out anywhere. Gotta love heat-n-bond!

Joy T. said...

Personally I'd be standing proud and telling them "I'm looking right now" and then instantly changing the subject back to them all the while standing there looking gorgeous in my new dress. Well ok with me it would be gorgeous...and chubby :o) Have a great time at the party!!

ChrisB said...

Tell them you are a writer, but be mysterious. Say you have a few projects in the pipeline~ no lie I'm sure you have a few draft blogs waiting to post!!

YummY! said...

I could never go "formal". I only dress up at funerals.

noname said...

Ooh, you're a better person than me. I hate social gatherings and avoid them at all costs. That said, my husbands Christmas party (work thing) was rescheduled due to weather and it's coming up in a couple of weeks. I almost wish I could get sick and dodge it...and it's very informal.

Good luck on the dress and party.